I
II
CONTEMPLATION
8-17/28-02
I watch the tall ships, naked from my room, some
without their sails,
a silhouetted line thrust up
like a snag among trees (from my high
view)
all but indistinguishable from other paraphernalia
of our
century. But then the largest ship turns its side
toward the north,
toward me, and I see -- with an awe
the Americans must have
experienced -- for the first time,
floating islands, tall, stately.
From a distance, sails fully unfurled,
not unlike a forest, or a
new world dodging in and out
of familiar trees. Sweet, the
ingeniousness of humankind;
Tart, what we have done with it. My heart
no longer
cries "Wonderful!" without hearing the incessant
howling
of misery in the other ear. Is it sweeter to block up the
ears with
thudding music or to mutiny against the tall, terrible
ships
carrying the world closer, closer to the incurable greed of top
animal who doesn't mind butchering and eating his tart underlings?
III
APPLE BUTTER
8-27/28-02
Up from the root-cellar, the smell of wintering apples:
Apple Butter,
Apple Pie, Apple in your eye
Apple of your eye.
Robust hail, they
fall from the trees:
thud, plunk, bang -- wormy, de-wormed, bags
full,
baskets full, aprons full, not good enough to sell
or eat,
but good enough for Apple Butter
cored and culled and
pared,
dark brown from cooking, like my life
since leaving
Granddaddy Peppler's farm
in Roseburg -- of peaches, apples,
pears,
cantaloupe, watermelon, root beer in the well --
put
here, in the real world, by the swat of God,
on the South Fork of the
Umpqua,
in the dust and the heat, Granddaddy planted the trees
at
fifty. We swam in the river.
IV
WINSTON
8-27/28-02
We canned peaches, gathered walnuts
and the cemetery ribbons from the
graveyard
in which Granddaddy dug the graves.
His farm is now a
residential district
in a town called -- is it Winston? The
maps
are wrong or my memory is. Or, is it
simply that my
grandparents never quite
knew where they were -- like me
and
the rest of the family. I see the covered bridge,
wooden and over to
the left, as I stand at the edge
of Granddaddy's farm on the banks of
the
rock-filled river where we swam, naked
brown kids in the
sun, ate ripe peaches, the culls
from the hard-baked ground.
Granddaddy never picked
a peach that wasn't ripe. He hand-wrapped each
one
-- sold the boxed peaches from his rumble-seat.
V
UMPQUA
8-27/28-02
The River, so the '99 map seems to indicate might have been
the
Coquille -- but ah no! I see as I trace it east to the mountains
--
Rivers come down out of the mountains! Right? --
that the South Umpqua
originates not too far
from Crater Lake and, for awhile, flows
north, near Winston.
Then, apparently, it changes its name to
Coquille.
From the old wind-weathered grey cottage,
we skipped past
the peaches I remember calling
"the Polly Parrots" -- white
peaches, new then --
and through the dust down and into the
river.
We actually never made apple butter there.
We were too busy
canning peaches.
But it was there, during the frugality of the depression,
the habit of
culling began: canning, preserving,
respect for the food we ate.
Nobody but I, it seems, picks up
culls from the sidewalks now. The dust, too, is gone.
VI
ARDHANARISVARA
8-27/28-02
I call it my Laughing Buddha in the
desert shot
-- by a loving Greek
in Palm Springs.
Along with apple butter and the bones of my mother,
there've been
too many Buddhas in my life:
Quan Yin and the whole mob,
compassionate women.
Ardhanarisvara, part male, the wild god
Shiva
tries to paw away Oregon from the map.
Long-legged, blue-eyed,
adolescent cat without peer,
scratch away the apple butter of my
life --
and the chocolate drops.
The sun through the
cottonwoods
rivets my life to the present light and shadow,
life
and death, at one with the sweet/tart of brown
apple butter. I've made
enough to give away to the few
friends I have stationed in this
world
between the flame and the pot.
THE PERUVIAN MUSE'S BONNET
POETRY + MUSIC + ESSAYS + TRAVEL + FICTION + TEXTILE
ART +
INTRODUCTION +
HAAG'S BIO