BY JAN HAAG
+ TRAVEL +
of exhortation based on an ancient Sufi form.
(in alphabetical order)
- G -
1228 San Anselmo Avenue
Everything means something to you;
The dying flowers,
newness of the year.
A red dress.
Nancy's laughter. Norma's
Water flowing, wide, swift,
Silent as silk, then
Stones, rushing toward shale and sea,
you've never been, but of which you also dream.
slept. When you woke
This too meant
something. The dream which woke you
Left you satisfied
desires you no longer have. You smiled,
Turned back into the down.
But it had gone,
As villages flee beyond the train's window,
the Queen of the Night closes to the day,
As a jet flies into the
sun, as the kitten
pauses, sun-dappled before dandelions,
Moments held in the eye,
So that even you,
In this darkling landscape
choosing his arrow,
The leaf's shadow passing over the kitten,
Fountains plashing in courtyards never seen.
The night-flower's brief scent.
GAFFUR'S FORM -- ORIGINAL
1025 South Cloverdale
Los Angeles, California 90019
Everything means something to you; the dying flowers,
times of year.
The new clothes you wear at the end of Ramadan.
prince's trust. The way that water flows,
Too impetuous to pause,
Stones, rushing towards distant objects,
you can't see but which you also flow
you slept long. When you woke your old blood stirred.
This too meant
something. The girl who woke you
Touched your brow.
you Lord. You smiled,
Put up a trembling hand. But she had gone,
As seasons go, as a night-flower closes in the day,
As a hawk flies
into the sun or as the cheetah runs; as
The deer pauses, sun-dappled
in long grass,
But does not stay.
Fleeting moments: these
are held a long time in the eye,
The blind eye of the ageing poet,
So that even you, Gaffur, can imagine
In this darkening
The blowman lovingly choosing his arrow,
outpacing the cheetah,
(The fountain splashing lazily in the
The girl running with the deer.
From the last page of the Raj Quartet by Paul Scott
1228 San Anselmo Avenue
O Devayani, I do not even know
from calling it God
to calling it Superstring.
spelled backwards is Dog,
but Superstring spelled backwards
Gnirtsrepus is what
we named what we found
as we spiraled backward and backward,
down and down into eons
into infinities of substance,
process that ended up with us, dog,
Superstring and God --
O Devayani, with us,
and all else: the light
in the sky,
the croaking of a frog --the croaking?
The frog surely, but the
croaking of the frog?
(Does sound have mass, weight and
Remember the neutrino?
No weight, no mass
spin of one half.)
Yes, achieved us, and the rose,
vision of the rose.
Superstring? The seeing of the rose? Smell,
and Touch -- are they Superstring, too?
the sound of the chanting,
and the hearing of the
Om mani padme hum.
The one and the many.
The ten thousand things
return to one.
The one returns to the ten thousand things.
Superstrings, Devayani, invisible particles so small
that even the
new fifty-three mile,
superconducting super-collider will never
a single one. So small
Devayani, so small,
conception of the mind.
Infinitely smaller than God and very far
The inside of the mind is grander than galactic
double the size of the imagined universe,
"Idam chadam cha," so the Shivites say,
and this and this," is God
"Idam eva shivam tvu idam eva
Also, they say,"Neti neti," "Not this, not
"Neti neti," the physicist says,
we find Gnirtsrepus, Himself.
a while we call
instead of Atom, Molecule,
Electron, Quark, Shiva
But how many more
how infinitely small,
how invisible, must
be before we agree it is only a concept
of the mind?
The universe is,
as any God will tell you,
the Big Bang, an impulse,
Shiva/Shakti sway, energy manifests.
you brush pass the muons,
the gluons, the hadrons,
webs of the nine
dimensions -- cobwebs of the mind --
entrapping as Indra's net,
each pearl reflecting itself and one
calculation, reflecting, infinitely reflecting,
Superstring sways His,
form. His moebic, undulating form
the slow, the stately
sway of a pendulum, the sway of the great
that shows the turning of the earth,
the tick-tock of
time, the rocking of universes
connected by worm holes.
faster than the humming
faster than the super-collider's
hoped for speed,
than the electron's
Devayani, Gnirtsrepus is a concept
of the mind. Like the particle
and the wave:
if you define it you can't find it,
you can't define it. Where has it been?
Where is it going?
What is it?
Gnirtsrepus, a Dog of the mind
dogs the mind as a dog
worries a bone.
Bury it deep in the earth, be at peace.
O Devayani, earth, peace,
are concepts of the
The mind is the dance.
Nataraja, in his circle of flame,
whirls on the fragile stillness
of unblown ash,
when the Big Bang, like a black hole
pulls in its fire,
its explosion, its sound.
Devayani, rest in Gnirtsrepus' pulsing,
rest in God's swaying,
rest as you search,
rest as you sleep.
O rest as you
rest on the busom of infinite sleep,
slight swaying, the Om of silence,
rest as a hadron, rest as a
rest in Gnirtsrepus' arms,
(last line missing?)
1228 San Anselmo Avenue
All the romance, all the love, all the worship, all the magic
gone from the music
from the musician
from my life here in
I find no love in my heart for anything or anyone.
I am discouraged, down at the mouth, down in the spirits.
see no point, I have been kidding myself.
It hurts so deeply to be so
and why, O Devayani, why?
I am suffused
with a trembly heart,
I feel I am on the verge of dying.
do nothing at all if I had
not got myself involved in this showing of
I would escape. I would go. I would do
I would flounder out into despair.
Why O God,
What have I done to myself?
What have you done to me?
What is being demanded of me?
What is being asked.
I do not
I keep trying to go on.
But I am stymied
And then Craig calls.
I knew how to jump outside this trembling
if I knew how to stop
playing numbers on myself in my head
If I knew how to relax and let things be.
5319 9th Avenue N.E.
O Devayani, take time out to dwell
in the odd gray spaces of the
take time out to live in the drift
of clouds, gray in the
the day and the emptiness on the day
doesn't shine. Bless the void
on the days there is nothing but mist
in the mind, the day without motive
or plan where
into nothingness. Let gentle light
through open spaces.
Explore by silence, live by twilight
in a shut down spirit. Alive in the quiet,
O Devayani, is that so
To be at peace, to dwell in quiet,
solitude. Experience the breath,
the sighˇˇmoan a little. Do not
Do not always be so eager to touch
the burning flame, to
like the sun, to smoke hot with
steam with bliss.
Lie quiet, research the odd grey spaces
mind, the dim light of the soul,
the faint music of the
Lie quiet in the dawn.
Be of good cheer,
no one has stolen the sun.
- B -
Beauty, before 1996
Burning, 05-06 before 1996
- C -
Frost Mourning, 01-30-00
The Empty Page, 12/18/97
Etruscan Goddess, 1997
Every Human, 01-12-98
Fed Up, 11-02-97
Feeding Frenzy, 1995?
In A Judeo-Christian-Islamic World,
Interstellar Space, 07-05-97
Lets Look At The Old Films Of India,
Micro Paleontology, 04-24-97
The Nafs, 12-26-97
No Words, 1-10-98
Of Spiritual, 1-11-98
Palimpsest (Ecstasy), 11-16-97
Palimpsest I (Sphere), 11-17-97
Palimpsest II (Diana), 11-22-97
The Place Between, 1-3-98
Point of View, 7-5-97
The Roaring Silence of God, 4-3-95
Steady Drizzle, 04-28-97
Two Tomatoes, 1995-96?
The Woman Who Had No Necklaces, 10-26-97
Copyright © 2002 Jan Haag
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Jan Haag may be reached via e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org or
BY JAN HAAG